1
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[Claire] Kids, breakfast!
2
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Kids? [Sighs] Phil, would you get them? [Video Game Sounds]
3
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Yeah. Just a sec.
4
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That is- Okay.
5
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Kids? Get down here!
6
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Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs?
7
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Just text me.
8
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All right. That's not gonna happen.
9
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And, wow! You're not wearing that outfit.
10
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What's wrong with it?
11
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Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter... about her skirt?
12
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Sorry.
13
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Oh, yeah. That looks really cute, sweetheart. - Thanks.
14
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No. It's way too short.
15
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People know you're a girl.
16
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You don't need to prove it to them.
17
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Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.
18
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I got it.
19
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Where's the baby oil?
20
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It's on our bedside table
21
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I don't know. Find it.
22
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Come on!
23
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I was out of control growing up.
24
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There, you know? I said it.
25
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I-I just don't want my kids... to make the same bad mistakes I made.
26
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I-If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked,
27
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I've done my job. Our job. Right. I've done our job.
28
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징Vamos, Manny! Kick it! Kick it!
29
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Don't let him- Kick it!
30
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Manny, go! 징A la derecha! 징A la derecha!
31
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No! No, no.
32
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He tripped him, Jay.
33
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Where's the penalty?
34
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Gloria, they're 0 and 6.
35
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Let's take it down a notch.
36
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[Chuckles] We're very different.
37
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Jay's from the city.
38
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He has a big business.
39
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I come from a small village.
40
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Very poor but very, very beautiful.
41
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It's the number one village in all Colombia for all the-
42
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What's the word?
43
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Murders. Yes. The murders.
44
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Manny, stop him!
45
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Stop him! You can do it!
46
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[Boy] Damn it, Manny!
47
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Come on, Coach. You gotta take that kid out.
48
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You wanna take him out?
49
00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,464
How about I take you out?
50
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Honey, honey. - Why don't you worry about your son?
51
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He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!
52
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I've wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks.
53
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I'm Josh. Ryan's dad.
54
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Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett. Manny's mother.
55
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Oh, and this must be your dad. - Her dad?
56
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Yeah. No, no. That's funny.
57
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Actually, no, I'm her husband.
58
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Don't be fooled by the, uh-
59
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Give me a second here.
60
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Who is a good girl? Who's that?
61
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Oh, she's adorable. - Oh, thank you.
62
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Hi, precious. Hello.
63
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[Blows Raspberry] Hi. Hi.
64
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Uh, we just, uh- We just adopted her from Vietnam.
65
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And we're bringing her home for the first time, huh?
66
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She's an angel.
67
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You and your wife must be thrilled.
68
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Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks.
69
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[Grunts] So, what are we talking about?
70
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Uh, we have been together for- guh, five- five years now?
71
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And, uh, we just- we decided we really wanted to have a baby.
72
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So, we had initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but-
73
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Then we figured, they're already mean enough.
74
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Can you imagine one of 'em pregnant? Pregnant, no.
75
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No, thank you. Ick.
76
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You saw that, right?
77
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Everybody fawning over Lily,
78
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and then you walk on and suddenly it's all,
79
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"Ooh, SkyMall. I gotta buy a motorized tie rack."
80
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All right, you know, I'm gonna give the speech.
81
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You are not giving the speech.
82
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You're gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours.
83
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You're right, you're right. Okay. I'm sorry.
84
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Look at that baby with those cream puffs.
85
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Okay. Excuse me.
86
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This baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for us "cream puffs."
87
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And you know what? Note to all of you who judge- Mitchell!
88
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Hear this.
89
00:03:42,559 --> 00:03:46,112
Love knows no race, creed/ Mitchell. / Or gender.
90
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And shame on you, you small-minded, ignorant few- Mitchell.
91
00:03:48,982 --> 00:03:50,825
Mitchell! What?
92
00:03:50,825 --> 00:03:53,995
[Whispers] She's got the cream puffs.
93
00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:04,047
We would like to pay for everyone's headsets.
94
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,144
Buddy. Why do you keep getting stuck like this?
95
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I thought I could get out this time.
96
00:04:19,878 --> 00:04:21,312
I'm just gonna say it.
97
00:04:21,312 --> 00:04:24,400
He needs to be checked by a specialist.
98
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Ow! There. Be free.
99
00:04:26,885 --> 00:04:28,571
Excalibur. [Chuckles]
100
00:04:28,571 --> 00:04:30,573
I'm having a friend over today. Who?
101
00:04:30,573 --> 00:04:34,443
Uh, you don't know him. Him? Him?
102
00:04:34,443 --> 00:04:37,122
Ooh, a boy. You gonna kiss him?
103
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,499
Shut up. - [Phil] Easy. Easy.
104
00:04:39,523 --> 00:04:40,908
Yeah, shut up! No, you shut up!
105
00:04:40,908 --> 00:04:42,949
Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay?
106
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And do what?
107
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Fight in the sun.
108
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It'll be a nice change. Haley.
109
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[Phil] I'm kidding.
110
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Who's the boy?
111
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His name is Dylan.
112
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I might as well tell him not to come...
113
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because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.
114
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Sweetie, hang on a second.
115
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You're 15, and it's the first time you've had a boy over.
116
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I'm bound to be a little surprised,
117
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but I'm not gonna embarrass you.
118
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I better go charge the camcorder.
119
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I'm kidding. Come on. Who are you talking to?
120
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I'm the cool dad.
121
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That's- That's my thing.
122
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I'm hip.
123
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I- I surf the Web.
124
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I text. "LOL"- Laugh out loud. "OMG"- Oh, my God. "WTF"- Why the face?
125
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Um, you know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so-
126
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[Alex] Mom! Dad! [Claire] What happened?
127
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Luke just shot me!
128
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I didn't mean to.
129
00:05:38,248 --> 00:05:40,310
Are you okay? No.
130
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The little bitch shot me. - [Chuckles]
131
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Language!
132
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They're only plastic BBs.
133
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It was an accident.
134
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What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun?
135
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Deal with this.
136
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Buddy, uncool.
137
00:05:54,306 --> 00:05:56,826
That's it? That's- No, no, no, no.
138
00:05:56,850 --> 00:06:00,079
The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him.
139
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We were serious about that? Yes, we were.
140
00:06:02,798 --> 00:06:05,168
And now you have to follow through.
141
00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:09,130
[Crying] I'm so sorry. - Liar.
142
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Go.
143
00:06:09,773 --> 00:06:11,216
He's got a birthday party.
144
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What's more important here, Dad?
145
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You can shoot him afterwards.
146
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He'll be home at 2:00.
147
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I can't shoot him at 2:00.
148
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I'm showing a house at 2:00.
149
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What about 3:00?
150
00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:19,682
No, he's got a soccer game at 3:00.
151
00:06:19,706 --> 00:06:23,144
And then- Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing at 5:00.
152
00:06:23,168 --> 00:06:24,979
4:15. You could shoot him at 4:15.
153
00:06:25,003 --> 00:06:27,273
Yeah, I guess that works for me. Oh!
154
00:06:27,297 --> 00:06:30,360
"Shoot Luke." Sorry, dude. It's on the calendar.
155
00:06:30,384 --> 00:06:33,988
Oh, come on!
156
00:06:34,012 --> 00:06:35,018
I'm quitting soccer.
157
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It is a game for children.
158
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,251
No, you're not quitting.
159
00:06:38,251 --> 00:06:41,204
You would have stopped that goal if you weren't staring at that little girl.
160
00:06:41,228 --> 00:06:47,001
She is not a girl. She's a woman.
161
00:06:47,025 --> 00:06:49,245
You know, Gloria, that little blowup with that other mom-
162
00:06:49,245 --> 00:06:50,404
Why do you have to do things like that?
163
00:06:50,404 --> 00:06:52,604
If somebody says something about my family, I'm going to
164
00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:53,758
I'm just saying.
165
00:06:53,782 --> 00:06:55,238
You could take it down here a little bit.
166
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That's all.
167
00:06:55,784 --> 00:06:57,637
Oh, yeah. 'Cause that's where you live, down here.
168
00:06:57,661 --> 00:06:58,634
But I live up here!
169
00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:00,723
Yeah, but you don't have to be so emotional all the time.
170
00:07:00,747 --> 00:07:01,622
That's all I'm saying.
171
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,518
Manny, you're with me on this, right?
172
00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:05,381
I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.
173
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:06,187
Oh, for God sakes.
174
00:07:06,211 --> 00:07:07,409
Manny, she's 16.
175
00:07:07,409 --> 00:07:09,691
Oh. It's okay for you to take an older lover?
176
00:07:09,715 --> 00:07:10,657
Hey, watch it.
177
00:07:10,657 --> 00:07:13,069
I wanna go to the mall where she works.
178
00:07:13,093 --> 00:07:16,364
But first I need to get my white shirt, the silk one.
179
00:07:16,388 --> 00:07:18,491
Okay. If that's what you really want to do.
180
00:07:18,491 --> 00:07:18,966
Seriously.
181
00:07:18,966 --> 00:07:20,076
Not to be the evil stepdad,
182
00:07:20,076 --> 00:07:24,038
but if you put on a puffy white shirt... and declare your love for a 16-year-old,
183
00:07:24,062 --> 00:07:27,458
you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpants.
184
00:07:27,482 --> 00:07:28,523
Stop the car.
185
00:07:28,523 --> 00:07:32,171
Oh, where are you going?
186
00:07:34,239 --> 00:07:36,184
See? You hurt his feelings.
187
00:07:36,184 --> 00:07:38,553
Ah- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit then-
188
00:07:38,577 --> 00:07:41,264
Oh, geez. He's picking flowers.
189
00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:44,392
Manny's very passionate, just like his father.
190
00:07:44,416 --> 00:07:48,521
My first husband- he's very handsome, but too crazy.
191
00:07:48,545 --> 00:07:53,943
It seemed like all we did was fight and make love, fight and make love, fight and make love.
192
00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:57,739
One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out the window together.
193
00:07:57,763 --> 00:07:59,657
[Laughing] Which- Which one were you doing?
194
00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:04,162
I'm hearing this for the first time.
195
00:08:04,186 --> 00:08:06,622
This doesn't worry you?
196
00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:08,916
She barely slept on the plane and she's still wide awake.
197
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:11,885
Oh, stop worrying. - I can't.
198
00:08:11,885 --> 00:08:13,245
That- That orphanage was all women.
199
00:08:13,245 --> 00:08:16,723
Maybe she just- she can't fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape.
200
00:08:16,723 --> 00:08:18,231
I guess that's possible.
201
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,749
So here.
202
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,479
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
203
00:08:22,479 --> 00:08:25,808
Yes, I've gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby,
204
00:08:25,832 --> 00:08:28,353
which has been very difficult.
205
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:32,689
But apparently your body does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing...
206
00:08:32,689 --> 00:08:37,070
where it retains nutrients- some sort of molecular physiology thing.
207
00:08:37,094 --> 00:08:39,030
But that's science.
208
00:08:39,054 --> 00:08:45,370
You can't- You can't fight it, so-
209
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,492
I'm not saying anything.
210
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:49,749
You're saying everything.
211
00:08:49,773 --> 00:08:53,878
Count to three. One, two- Three. Okay.
212
00:08:53,902 --> 00:08:56,339
Oh, Cam. This is beautiful. Oh, my God. Do you love it?
213
00:08:56,363 --> 00:08:59,926
Yes, I- What the hell is that?
214
00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:01,673
I had Andre do it while we were gone.
215
00:09:01,673 --> 00:09:04,430
Is that us, with wings?
216
00:09:04,454 --> 00:09:06,891
We're floating above her, always there to protect her.
217
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:08,543
Okay. Well, that's reassuring, right, Lily?
218
00:09:08,543 --> 00:09:10,830
Yes, we tore you away from everything you know,
219
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:11,996
but don't worry, things are normal here.
220
00:09:11,996 --> 00:09:13,607
Your fathers are floating fairies.
221
00:09:13,607 --> 00:09:17,318
No, can you call Andre, have him paint something a little less gay?
222
00:09:17,342 --> 00:09:20,226
By the way, we need to stop having friends with names like Andre.
223
00:09:21,138 --> 00:09:23,199
Redheaded dad is angry daddy.
224
00:09:21,138 --> 00:09:24,215
No, I'm not. Yes, you are.
225
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:26,168
Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.
226
00:09:26,168 --> 00:09:28,329
Okay, that's another one- Pepper.
227
00:09:28,353 --> 00:09:30,331
Okay, what's up?
228
00:09:30,355 --> 00:09:33,543
All right, look. I-
229
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:37,505
I- I never told my family we were adopting a baby.
230
00:09:37,529 --> 00:09:39,882
And- I know.
231
00:09:39,906 --> 00:09:41,366
You do? Yeah,
232
00:09:41,366 --> 00:09:43,553
and I don't blame you. I know your family.
233
00:09:43,577 --> 00:09:46,347
You'd tell 'em. They'd say something judgmental.
234
00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:47,698
Exactly. You'd get mad.
235
00:09:47,698 --> 00:09:48,121
I know.
236
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,677
And then something that's supposed to be nothing but joyful... suddenly turns into this huge fight.
237
00:09:51,677 --> 00:09:54,964
And who wants a big, emotional scene like that? Thank you. Thank you.
238
00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:57,358
I'm so- I'm so relieved you understand.
239
00:09:57,382 --> 00:10:01,112
I invited them over for dinner tonight.
240
00:10:01,136 --> 00:10:02,788
What? I had to.
241
00:10:02,788 --> 00:10:04,020
This would have gone on forever.
242
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,241
You're an avoider.
243
00:10:05,265 --> 00:10:09,228
No. No. No. Cam, I'm calling them right now and canceling. / No, you're not.
244
00:10:09,464 --> 00:10:11,764
You're telling your family you adopted a baby, tonight.
245
00:10:11,764 --> 00:10:13,181
And you do have avoidance issues.
246
00:10:13,181 --> 00:10:14,917
Even Longinus said so.
247
00:10:14,941 --> 00:10:20,131
Are- Are you really not hearing these names?
248
00:10:21,641 --> 00:10:23,061
[Doorbell Rings] [Haley] Don't answer it! I'll get it!
249
00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:34,026
Hi. Hey, you must be Dylan. / Hey. Dylan. Yeah.
250
00:10:34,026 --> 00:10:35,266
I'm Haley's mother.
251
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:36,439
Hey. Mm-hmm.
252
00:10:36,463 --> 00:10:38,733
Come on. Let's go. [Clears Throat] Okay. Um-
253
00:10:38,757 --> 00:10:41,194
Hang on one second. Um- Whoa.
254
00:10:41,218 --> 00:10:46,507
Dylan, you're still in high school? / Yeah, I'm a senior. A senior. /
255
00:10:46,507 --> 00:10:47,200
Okay. Cool.
256
00:10:47,224 --> 00:10:52,205
Hey, Phil. Sweetie. Honey. He is Dylan, and he is a senior.
257
00:10:52,229 --> 00:10:55,041
[Whispers] You have to scare him.
258
00:10:55,065 --> 00:11:04,217
Let me meet this "playa." Phil Dunphy, yo.
259
00:11:04,241 --> 00:11:05,158
It's like that.
260
00:11:05,158 --> 00:11:06,511
You just- You just stare down at 'em,
261
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,763
let the eyes do the work.
262
00:11:08,787 --> 00:11:10,689
Your mouth might be saying, "Hey, we cool,"
263
00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:12,808
but your eyes are like, "No, we not."
264
00:11:12,832 --> 00:11:16,729
"Nice to meet you." "No, it's not."
265
00:11:16,753 --> 00:11:18,439
"It's all good."
266
00:11:23,301 --> 00:11:25,863
Okay, I see you two guys /Wait, wait, wait.
267
00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:31,418
You two- You two keep it real,
268
00:11:31,418 --> 00:11:33,120
know what I mean, son?
269
00:11:33,144 --> 00:11:34,956
Not really.
270
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:35,969
Please, stop.
271
00:11:35,969 --> 00:11:37,041
That's cool.
272
00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:39,752
Ow. Oh, God! That's my back. Oh, honey. Sweetheart.
273
00:11:39,776 --> 00:11:42,129
Ow! Oh! I slipped in the baby oil.
274
00:11:42,153 --> 00:11:45,424
"Oh, where you from originally?"
275
00:11:45,448 --> 00:11:49,053
"I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation."
276
00:11:49,077 --> 00:11:50,742
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I don't know about this.
277
00:11:50,742 --> 00:11:51,847
Should I call a doctor?
278
00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:57,019
You're very strong, homes. Thanks.
279
00:11:57,043 --> 00:11:59,344
Okay. Nice- Nice soft landing.
280
00:11:59,344 --> 00:11:59,897
There you go.
281
00:11:59,921 --> 00:12:02,441
Okay. I am on my side though. / Okay, let's go. Come on.
282
00:12:02,465 --> 00:12:05,152
So just flip me right back, and we're good. [Sighs]
283
00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:06,988
We'll be good.
284
00:12:07,012 --> 00:12:12,954
I just need to get flipped right on my back, and we should be fine. So-
285
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,799
What is that?
286
00:12:17,799 --> 00:12:19,368
A poem I have written for Brenda Feldman.
287
00:12:19,368 --> 00:12:20,388
Of course it is.
288
00:12:20,388 --> 00:12:24,007
I put my thoughts into words and now my words into action.
289
00:12:24,031 --> 00:12:26,551
Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks not to do this.
290
00:12:26,575 --> 00:12:27,812
I'm 11 years old.
291
00:12:27,812 --> 00:12:29,262
What am I gonna do with money?
292
00:12:29,286 --> 00:12:31,514
What are you gonna do with a 16-year-old?
293
00:12:31,538 --> 00:12:33,727
He's like a bullfighter.
294
00:12:33,727 --> 00:12:36,185
Mmm. You ever see a bullfight?
295
00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:37,505
I can't watch this.
296
00:12:37,505 --> 00:12:39,147
You're in such a bad mood.
297
00:12:39,171 --> 00:12:40,469
And I know why.
298
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,992
It's because that man thought you were my father.
299
00:12:42,992 --> 00:12:44,393
No. Yes.
300
00:12:44,393 --> 00:12:47,488
No. When you say "No" like that, it's always "Yes."
301
00:12:47,512 --> 00:12:48,632
Come on. We're in the mall.
302
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:50,967
Let's get you, like, some younger clothes.
303
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:51,938
There's a store there.
304
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,953
I don't need any younger clothes.
305
00:12:53,977 --> 00:12:57,457
And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.
306
00:12:57,481 --> 00:12:59,208
Good. You shouldn't.
307
00:12:59,232 --> 00:13:01,419
You should only care what I think.
308
00:13:01,443 --> 00:13:04,172
I love you, and I don't care how old you are.
309
00:13:04,196 --> 00:13:07,851
So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny.
310
00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:09,552
The only reason I'm hard on Manny...
311
00:13:09,576 --> 00:13:12,221
is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself.
312
00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:15,308
And I can smell that hair goo of his from here.
313
00:13:15,332 --> 00:13:18,353
Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there.
314
00:13:18,377 --> 00:13:22,148
But you're his family now, and that means only one thing-
315
00:13:22,172 --> 00:13:26,778
You be the wind in his back, not the spit in his face.
316
00:13:26,802 --> 00:13:29,697
What? It's something my mom always says.
317
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,980
It's gorgeous in Spanish.
318
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:33,615
Look, he's there.
319
00:13:37,646 --> 00:13:39,587
She has a boyfriend.
320
00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:41,876
Oh, I'm sorry, mi ni챰o.
321
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,878
I gave her my heart,
322
00:13:43,902 --> 00:13:47,215
she gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff.
323
00:13:48,782 --> 00:13:52,053
That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it? No, mi amor.
324
00:13:52,077 --> 00:13:55,431
It was brave. Right, Jay? Brave.
325
00:13:55,455 --> 00:13:57,642
W-Well, you'll know better next time.
326
00:13:57,666 --> 00:14:02,105
Come on. Let's get a pretzel.
327
00:14:07,384 --> 00:14:12,678
Uh, excuse me, sir. We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right.
328
00:14:24,818 --> 00:14:27,672
[Haley] Alex, get out! Mom!
329
00:14:27,696 --> 00:14:29,674
Alex, leave your sister alone.
330
00:14:29,698 --> 00:14:31,667
I was just getting my book. Gosh.
331
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:35,179
I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy.
332
00:14:35,203 --> 00:14:37,815
What are they doing up there? Nothing.
333
00:14:37,815 --> 00:14:40,977
Lying on her bed, watching a movie.
334
00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:43,563
Okay. Okay.
335
00:14:43,587 --> 00:14:46,136
Um, I'm making a cake for tonight.
336
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,900
You wanna help me with the frosting?
337
00:14:47,924 --> 00:14:49,281
Sure.
338
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:55,158
So, you know, if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months,
339
00:14:55,182 --> 00:14:57,994
and then, like, tell everyone the baby's yours?
340
00:14:58,018 --> 00:14:58,767
What?
341
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:01,305
This senior at school was "out sick" for four months,
342
00:15:01,305 --> 00:15:06,502
but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding at a coin-op car wash.
343
00:15:10,781 --> 00:15:14,130
Buddy, what are you wearing? / Nothing.
344
00:15:14,191 --> 00:15:17,319
Uh-uh. No jacket. One hat.
345
00:15:17,491 --> 00:15:19,891
How many pairs of underwear do you have on?
346
00:15:19,915 --> 00:15:23,728
One. [Sighs] Six.
347
00:15:23,752 --> 00:15:26,689
First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat.
348
00:15:26,713 --> 00:15:30,359
And how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew.
349
00:15:30,383 --> 00:15:33,154
Haley is not getting pregnant. [Clears Throat]
350
00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:35,156
Just saying "if." I know.
351
00:15:35,180 --> 00:15:37,687
And I know you like to make trouble for your sister,
352
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,951
but it's not gonna work this time.
353
00:15:38,975 --> 00:15:41,913
You know why? 'Cause your sister's a good girl.
354
00:15:41,937 --> 00:15:44,739
I know. I was just like her when I was-
355
00:15:46,024 --> 00:15:48,953
I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this.
356
00:15:48,953 --> 00:15:51,079
But this is an important lesson that you're learning.
357
00:15:51,079 --> 00:15:56,385
So, soak it. Keep it.
358
00:15:56,409 --> 00:15:57,942
You're too close.
359
00:15:57,942 --> 00:15:58,754
It's gonna hurt.
360
00:15:58,754 --> 00:16:00,348
It's supposed to hurt.
361
00:16:00,372 --> 00:16:03,841
And why are you smiling? - I'm- What?
362
00:16:15,554 --> 00:16:18,241
Oh, forget it. I can't do this.
363
00:16:18,265 --> 00:16:19,953
The point is you're scared.
364
00:16:19,953 --> 00:16:21,135
I think you've learned your lesson.
365
00:16:23,937 --> 00:16:26,374
Mom! What are you doing?
366
00:16:26,398 --> 00:16:29,326
Oh, hey! I was just, um, dropping off some laundry.
367
00:16:29,326 --> 00:16:31,170
Is this a bad time? - Yeah.
368
00:16:31,194 --> 00:16:34,507
Oh. Okay.
369
00:16:34,531 --> 00:16:36,375
Uh, can you shut the door, please?
370
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:39,262
Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open.
371
00:16:39,286 --> 00:16:40,555
Why?
372
00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:43,641
Because I have, uh, seen this little show before-
373
00:16:43,665 --> 00:16:46,310
lying on the bed with a tall senior.
374
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:49,012
One minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest,
375
00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:51,532
and the next you're lying underneath the air hockey table with your bra in your pocket.
376
00:16:52,757 --> 00:16:54,600
[Whimpering] You hit my bone!
377
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,653
It was an accident!
378
00:16:55,677 --> 00:16:59,064
I thought you were my friend! - I am your friend.
379
00:16:59,064 --> 00:17:01,450
Dad! Dad, Dad. You have got to talk to Mom.
380
00:17:01,474 --> 00:17:04,328
She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!
381
00:17:04,352 --> 00:17:07,147
Honey, your mom isn't always as cool about things as I am
382
00:17:07,314 --> 00:17:08,875
What is with this thing?
383
00:17:10,652 --> 00:17:16,192
My dad. Uh, my dad still isn't completely comfortable with this.
384
00:17:16,192 --> 00:17:18,123
Um- He-He still does this thing.
385
00:17:18,123 --> 00:17:19,287
It's been five years now.
386
00:17:19,287 --> 00:17:23,474
And he still does this thing where he announces himself... before walking into any room we're in...
387
00:17:23,498 --> 00:17:27,145
just to make sure he doesn't have to ever see us kiss.
388
00:17:27,169 --> 00:17:29,397
Wish my mother had that system.
389
00:17:29,421 --> 00:17:31,733
Remember? Not now.
390
00:17:31,757 --> 00:17:33,985
I still can't believe you did this to me.
391
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,472
Would you get in the spirit of things?
392
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,947
It's a celebration.
393
00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:44,562
Oh, God. - Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready.
394
00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:47,648
Okay. And I want you to just come straight out with it.
395
00:17:47,648 --> 00:17:49,401
All right. Okay. You can do this.
396
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,735
Yeah. Sports guy chest bump.
397
00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:54,605
Cam. Oh! All right. Go. Do it. Go.
398
00:18:03,205 --> 00:18:06,083
How are you? Hi, guys. Hey.
399
00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:08,011
That looks good. Oh, thank you. Thanks.
400
00:18:08,011 --> 00:18:08,792
Don't thank us.
401
00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:09,374
Open it.
402
00:18:09,374 --> 00:18:10,654
Dad is coming right behind.
403
00:18:11,388 --> 00:18:12,735
[Jay] Knock, knock! We're here.
404
00:18:12,735 --> 00:18:14,108
Coming in!
405
00:18:14,132 --> 00:18:17,028
Don't worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here.
406
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,697
May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled cap?
407
00:18:27,896 --> 00:18:30,917
Oh, what a beautiful dress. Ay, thank you, Phil.
408
00:18:34,403 --> 00:18:37,006
That's how she says "Phil." Not "feel." Phil. Oh.
409
00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:38,601
So how was your trip?
410
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:39,834
It was good. It was good actually.
411
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:43,888
But, um, about that, I- I have something that I need to tell you guys.
412
00:18:43,912 --> 00:18:46,565
Um- Uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure.
413
00:18:46,565 --> 00:18:49,026
We, uh, kind of have some big news.
414
00:18:49,026 --> 00:18:52,004
Oh, God. If Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving.
415
00:18:52,004 --> 00:18:54,232
[Claire] Dad. - I hope he didn't embarrass you, Mom.
416
00:18:54,256 --> 00:18:57,610
Oh, don't mind her. Haley had her first boy over today...
417
00:18:57,634 --> 00:18:59,246
and Phil shot him.
418
00:19:00,814 --> 00:19:03,574
Anyway, um, so, about- about a year ago,
419
00:19:03,598 --> 00:19:09,021
Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know, for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby?
420
00:19:09,021 --> 00:19:10,601
Ooh, that's a bad idea.
421
00:19:10,601 --> 00:19:11,565
What do you mean, "bad idea"?
422
00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:13,052
Well, kids need a mother.
423
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,277
I mean if you two guys are bored, get a dog.
424
00:19:15,277 --> 00:19:17,054
Okay, we're not bored, Dad.
425
00:19:17,054 --> 00:19:19,507
I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son.
426
00:19:19,531 --> 00:19:24,221
I-I-I-I think what Dad is trying to say... is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight.
427
00:19:24,221 --> 00:19:25,702
Kids bring chaos,
428
00:19:25,702 --> 00:19:28,433
and you don't handle it well.
429
00:19:28,457 --> 00:19:29,595
That's what you're saying.
430
00:19:29,595 --> 00:19:31,602
And it's insulting in a whole different way.
431
00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:34,272
Okay, people. Let's all "chillax."
432
00:19:34,296 --> 00:19:37,108
Hey, where's Uncle Cameron? Thank you. Thank you.
433
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:40,261
Someone who's not insulting me notices he's not here.
434
00:19:40,261 --> 00:19:42,934
Oh, so that's the big announcement, huh?
435
00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:44,181
You two broke up.
436
00:19:44,181 --> 00:19:46,667
Well- Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway.
437
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:47,857
And let me tell you.
438
00:19:47,857 --> 00:19:48,476
You're better off,
439
00:19:48,476 --> 00:19:50,004
because he was a bit of a drama queen.
440
00:19:50,004 --> 00:19:51,289
No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No.
441
00:19:51,313 --> 00:19:54,483
You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend,
442
00:19:54,483 --> 00:19:56,819
who, by the way, is not that dramatic-
443
00:20:13,201 --> 00:20:16,802
We adopted a baby. Her name is Lily. Oh.
444
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,395
Exciting!
445
00:20:18,395 --> 00:20:19,776
Just turn it off.
446
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,153
I can't turn it off. It's who I am.
447
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,238
The music. Oh, yes, the music. [Chuckles]
448
00:20:24,262 --> 00:20:26,032
?も솵 [Stops] Come say hi to Lily.
449
00:20:26,056 --> 00:20:29,952
Ay, miren a la princesita. The little princess. [Haley] She's so cute!
450
00:20:29,976 --> 00:20:32,313
So cute. Thank you.
451
00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:33,923
[Claire] Let me see her. Let me see her. Let me see her.
452
00:20:33,923 --> 00:20:37,001
Hi there, Lily.
453
00:20:37,025 --> 00:20:39,879
"Lily." Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? [Haley] So cute.
454
00:20:42,531 --> 00:20:46,302
Okay, I-I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea.
455
00:20:46,302 --> 00:20:50,431
But, uh, what do I know?
456
00:20:50,455 --> 00:20:53,017
I mean, it's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood.
457
00:20:53,041 --> 00:20:55,898
Been trying all my life to get it right. I'm still screwing up.
458
00:20:55,898 --> 00:20:58,129
Right, Manny?
459
00:20:58,129 --> 00:20:59,732
I wrote a song about it in the car.
460
00:20:59,756 --> 00:21:02,985
Of course you did. Uh-
461
00:21:03,009 --> 00:21:04,686
Anyway, I'm happy for you.
462
00:21:04,686 --> 00:21:07,073
And, uh, you should know that, uh,
463
00:21:07,097 --> 00:21:09,909
I'm not here to spit in your face,
464
00:21:09,933 --> 00:21:12,829
I'm here to... blow at your back.
465
00:21:12,853 --> 00:21:14,997
I don't understand what that means. I don't-
466
00:21:15,021 --> 00:21:18,376
Well, it's- it's supposed to sound better in Spanish.
467
00:21:22,821 --> 00:21:25,833
Oh, that's beautiful. That's really nice.
468
00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:28,010
And thank you too.
469
00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:30,054
Anyhow, Mitch, uh-
470
00:21:30,078 --> 00:21:32,765
No, Dad, it's- it's- - [Lily Crying]
471
00:21:32,789 --> 00:21:34,318
I got her. I got her.
472
00:21:34,318 --> 00:21:35,140
Oh, she's crying.
473
00:21:35,367 --> 00:21:36,352
She wants her grandpa! She wants her daddy!
474
00:21:36,376 --> 00:21:37,943
Do you wanna meet Grandpa?
475
00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:38,763
What? Are you kidding?
476
00:21:38,763 --> 00:21:40,045
She's one of us now.
477
00:21:40,045 --> 00:21:42,567
Let me see the little pot sticker. [Chuckling]
478
00:21:42,591 --> 00:21:46,112
Hey, you're a cutie, aren't you?
479
00:21:46,136 --> 00:21:49,657
Ah. Look at this. [All Fussing]
480
00:21:49,681 --> 00:21:54,412
[Jay] We're from different worlds, yet we somehow fit together.
481
00:21:54,436 --> 00:21:59,959
Love is what binds us, through fair or stormy weather.
482
00:21:59,983 --> 00:22:02,587
I stand before you now with only one agenda-
483
00:22:02,611 --> 00:22:09,051
"To let you know my heart is yours, Feldman comma Brenda."
484
00:22:09,075 --> 00:22:12,055
I mean, seriously.
485
00:22:12,079 --> 00:22:15,392
Luke, so far, hasn't beaten me in basketball.
486
00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:17,686
It's 2-0. 2-0. Okay. Okay.
487
00:22:20,004 --> 00:22:23,192
Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen! Dad, stop it!
488
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:25,319
Can you do me a favor? Just grab-
489
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:27,863
Ooh! How's the weather down there?
490
00:22:27,887 --> 00:22:30,365
But when the day comes that he does win-
491
00:22:30,389 --> 00:22:34,620
if- you know- if/when- he beats me, I'm just gonna be like,
492
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:36,663
"Well done. Well done."
493
00:22:36,687 --> 00:22:40,667
Just, like, let him- Just support him... in- in- in that kind of stuff.
494
00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:50,010
I mean, I'd probably want to go, like, two out of three and just see what happens there, but-
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디시콘에서지갑연결시 바로 사용 가능합니다.